The countdown begins for me to be sad =( !!!

Well......... I only have 12 days till I go back to work and I am just heart broken about leaving Riley =( !!! I know she will be in good hands with Cody's mom and my mom but I want her to be with me !!!! I can't even explain the saddness I am feeling and I know the closer I get to going back the more sad I will get and probably bawl my eyes out !!!!!!!!!! I am totally surprising myself b/c when I was younger and before I was even married, I always thought to myself that I couldn't be a stay at home, I would get tired of being home all the time but it's not like that !!!!!

I do have to get out sometimes so I take Riley to Cody's parents or my mom will come watch her for alittle bit just so I can go out running around for alittle bit and have some me time ..... but I love being with her !!!! Don;t get me wrong , not all days are perfect, she is a baby so of course she is fussy sometimes and that is hard b/c I don't always know what is wrong but I love this little girl more than life itself...... you always hear people say... You don't know what love is until you have a child !!!!!!! Of course you love your husband, he is your best friend, your soul mate, your rock but it is a different kind of love having a baby.... and it is the best feeling in the world ... I can't even explain that feeling !!!!!!! I don't know how many times I said I wasn't ever doing this again but the other night as I was in bed on the computer I started looking at baby names and made Cody nenrly choke to death lol !!!! He could not believe I was the one who was bringing this subject up after just having Riley and saying I was never doing this again and here... not even 3 months after having Riley I am talking about another !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He said where did this come from lol !!!!!! Then he said this isn't supposed to come up for like a year =) !!! OF course he was kidding b/c everytime I said I wasn't doin this again .... he said you will change your mind and here he was right !!!!!!!!!!!! I wish there was a way I could stay home right now.... although would I really like being at home all the time, I mean I don't make much now but I have good insurance so that helps us out alot and that is the main reason I am working !!!!!!! I know I shouldn't be griping b/c I was able to go part time but I can't stand the thought of being away from her........

turning 29 !!!

My birthday was fun ...... during the day ws boring b/c I was home by myself all day so that part sucked =( !!!!! Vicki, dropped off my card and I got money=) Cody took me out Friday night though ...... we met Daron and Corbin at my parents so we could drop Riley off and then we went to Frisco and ate at Jin beh, and that was good !!!!!!!!!!!!! then we went to Main Event and played games .... we were going to bowl but after the games it was already after 10 pm and we were tired so we didn't bowl !!!!! We went back to my parents house and had cake then I opened my gifts and got money =) ...Yeah for money !!!!!!!!

Cody ....... got me a gift certificate to go and get a massage ...I can't wait till I go !!! I have been wanting one forever and now I am able to get one .... So excited !!!!!!! I used to love Birthday's and now it's like ugh another bday lol .... I can't believe I turned 29 !!!!!!!! Next year is goin to be 30 =( ..... tears lol !!!!

wish I could =( !!!!!!!

I can't even begin to tell you how I feel right now about having to leave Riley to go back to work ...... I didnt think I would be this way but I am ... I wish I could stay home so bad !!!! Of course .... we need to get a few things paid off before that could happen .... of course I have relly good insurance with my job so that part helps us out alot too ...... Hopefully once I get back to work it will get alittle easier, I do feel better that our moms will be wtching her but I would still rather be at home with her =) !!! Maybe with our next child, I could maybe stay at home with the kids =) !!!!! I am dreading April 5th so bad .....I just wanna cry and I am sure when it's closer .....I will cry alot more... I have already had one emotional breakdown... okay ,maybe 2 but the 2nd one wasn't too bad lol !!!!

we wore green !!!

It was Riley's 1st St Patrick's Day and We didn't do anything for it but Riley and I wore our green so we wouldn't get pinched =) !!!! But Cody on the otherhand didn't so guess who got pinched when he got home for lunch and I saw he wsn't wearing green HAHAHAHA !!!!

Hope Everybody had a nice St. Patrick's Day =) !!! Riley and I had a nice dy just hanging out at home !!!

Luckiest GIrl !

Love is so hard to explain ....

I know when I was younger adn dating, I thought I was in love but as I got older I realized it was no where near love !!! Being in love is the best thing ever, I know with Cody.... I can't even put it into words really but my feelings are so strong for him and I am so crazy for him ... I was that way from the very beginning. He is who I always wanna be with, he is my husband, the father of my child ( and that is just the most greatest thing ever seeing him with Riley) but he has become my best friend .... I hate being away from him even though I get mad and aggrevated at him at times.... he just looks at me and that smile of his, it is so hard to stay mad at him lol !!!! He is the most caring guy and I am the luckiest girl to have him ...... I honestly don't know what I would do without him !!!!!

He is a dedicated husband and father and Riley and I are blessed !!!! Not all guys would get up during the night to feed or change the diaper when they have to get up for work but Cody did especially when I was having a tough time after my csection... and even now he still does .... I look forward to the weekends so he will be home with us, I love spending time with him ,,,,, and I do wish he would go out every now and then just to have friend time but he would rather be at home with us =) which I am very lucky for b/c alot of guys out there .... go out with friends and go to the bars ,but I am one of the lucky ones and never have to worry about Cody doing anything like that !!!!


I LOVE CODY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7 weeks !!! !

Riley is 7 weeks old today .... they grow up so fast !!! Part of me wants her to be alittle older so she starts doing things and learning but then part of me wants her to be this little forever !!!!! I am already dreading going back to work, and it breaks my heart having too !!! I have loved being able to stay at home with her, it is awesome that I get 12 weeks off for maternity leave !!! I love spending time with her, looking at that little face and knowing Cody and I created this beautiful little girl !

Time Flies !!!!

So ,,,,, here it is March 2nd already .... why is it that as we get older time just seems to fly by ? There is only 17 more days till my birthday ...yeah I guess !!!! I used to couldn't wait for my birthday and now here I don't know if I really want it to come ..... I will be 29 =( !!!! I love my life right , I love being married and being a mommy but every now and then I do miss being a kid !!! You know when you are a kid things are so easy .... you don't have to work and you get to enjoy summers by not working or going to school..... oh how I used to love the summers =) !!!! You know when I was younger ,,,I could not wait till I was 16 then when I turned 16, I couldn't wait till I was 18 then I couldn't wait to be 21 and now I want time to slow down LOL !!!!!!! How did the time go so fast .....WoW ..here I will be 29 ....almost 30 =( !!!! So SAD lol !!!!!

I wanna do something fun so I am going to find something fun to do =) maybe going to a Stars game or Dave N Busters ... =) !!!